Blog #2

http://changethis.com/manifesto/51.01.YourHowl/pdf/51.01.YourHowl.pdf
In the story I read there are a group of wolves that are going extinct so they're bred and the pups are released into the wild. Only the new wolves don't know how to howl so one of them, Mumon, goes off into the wilderness to find it. He is tried by himself until he is at his lowest and from within finds his howl and brings the pack as one. The main point of this story is hard work and persistence will ultimately get you what you want.


Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

This quote from Sylvia Plath’s book The Bell Jar is just a wonderful story apart from the actual book which I truly feel could relate to anyone but for me it is even more so a warning, a personal warning. If I could forewarn you that this personal snippet of my life is going to sound like I am boasting I truly hope you see that in no way do I feel I am better than anyone and am more than thankful for any talent given to me by my parents or God or however I’ve come to receive any gift I now possess. With that being said from a young age I almost felt as if I was destined to be something great and I truly believed that I was capable of doing anything I set my mind to, mainly because I had been told I could from those around me. Now what I was destined to do great things in was far beyond me. I was never actually diagnosed with any sort of ADHD but I never seemed to be able to stick with one thing. Luckily like I said, I was blessed with wonderful genetics and was pretty naturally gifted. I picked up piano and started taking lessons at the age of five started with sports and was fairly successful at a young age and moved into theatre in high school as well as was a good student and was involved in student government and really anything else I could get myself into, to say the least my future looked somewhat bright. I could see myself going places and felt as if I could pursue whatever it was I pleased. However like in this story that Sylvia gives us, sometimes too many options can leave you with only one and that is to choose nothing. As I aged I spread my talents across the fields of athletics, music and of course girls, excuse I mean education. However I was never devoted to just one these things I had spread myself thin, whether it was being a lead in the musicals, being the captain of the football team, being an honor student or pursuing the life of a musician I couldn’t settle down with one thing and this stimuli threw me a curve because while I was good at these things I could not choose one and try and make myself the best I could be at that one thing, like I said the ADHD. Even now as a nineteen year old I have so much life ahead of me and I just couldn’t decide, and there lies the problem like the protagonist of The Bell Jar indecision. Choosing one thing means losing the rest, and “What if I choose wrong?” then pops into my head and knowing I don’t have the balls to know I am good enough at this to make a happy life out of it. All these things have lead me from where I once was, sitting at the crotch of the fig tree to where I am now seizing what life I have and going at it with everything I have got. Essentially when something presents itself in front of me I take it and run. I refuse to be in one spot, and it is from this that I derive my creativity by just going for it, don’t think a mile ahead of yourself, because thinking a mile ahead of yourself is not going to get you a mile from where you sit. I feel this decision has lead me to be more creative as a person just by allowing myself to not be afraid to pursue something really holding nothing back and knowing that I will get one of those figs.